First off: welcome and congratulations for seeking out there what there is for help.
Nobody was born all-knowing and as live progresses new lessons pop up. Why figure them all out by yourself?
BDSM/Kink is a society challenging form of enjoyment and thus brings more questions and obstacles to the surface than the usual, accepted vanilla inclinations. For the same reason it is a great opportunity to explore your courage, shame, pleasure, and multiples inner aspects and it may be a pathway to liberation and self-empowerment.
Sometimes it’s easier to walk down a path with somebody who has been there, who has been walking on it for a while and who has been checking out the different puddles, curves and quirks that characterizes this road.